Fires out of control

Fires out of control
Destroying people’s homes and lives
The loss more than I can count
Hundreds dead and missing
From the fires and earthquakes and floods
And people shot, killed in their synagogue
Or their church or the mosque in which they prayed
Children shot, killed in their schools…how can this continue to happen in schools
How can this continue to happen anywhere…

and yet the small tufted titmouse bird flies up to the feeder outside my window to get some safflower seeds and then flits away with it, returning later to get more. I have to smile at the simplicity that shows up in front of me.

Families are separated from each other in cages or tents
Camps for refugees
Where children are frightened, experiencing a terrible on-going  trauma
While elections are used to fight each other
Instead of honoring the system that allows us all to vote
And people can be in charge of the election process
As they run for election at the same time
Is this the country that is my home?

            and little Ellie, the Princess Lion, sings with me, her Gram,“we take care of each other”, a Daniel Tiger song, as we share our scrambled eggs…and soon afterwards with family, I watch my oldest grandson score his first goal in his first high school soccer game. Smiling is easy.

People are newly homeless from floods or fires or having to leave their countries on foot
Hoping to find safety
How will they find ways to start over?
Why is it so easy to get the guns that murder innocents?
I turn off the TV after listening long enough to feel partially informed
For today I have heard enough opinions, no matter how deep and wise and studied

the doves fly in to the other feeders, and having eaten, with their beaks they shovel some seeds onto the ground and ligustrum bushes where the squirrels rummage to feed themselves.  I am grateful to watch their little ecosystem in my backyard…and I smile.

A plane crashes, a bus runs off the road, a car crosses a median smashing into a family vehicle … life is so fragile and is often less valued than money by those who are greedy

I feel the weight of it all throughout my body in these chaotic times.  But I don’t feel even a part of the weight as do those whose stories these are.  Or the fear of the future, sometimes with roots in the past. I am aware that I can barely imagine any of what some people live every day.

Except I can’t seem to write.  Days, weeks pass. Focusing on home projects, more external, is easier than going deeper inside. Until finally I must sit down and write whatever comes.  Whatever is deep inside demands it.

our family will have a new member in March … a baby is coming … new life…I love seeing my pregnant daughter’s belly…and I am looking forward to my personal new year, only weeks away,  when I celebrate having lived three-quarters of a century.   And the sun shines and then sets.  Moon and stars come and go. Trees and blooming purple Mexican petunias and golden thryallis and bougainvillea, a brilliant fuchsia, are here for me to notice when I am present to them. Recently as we were walking up her sidewalk, my almost three year old granddaughter stopped us, saying “oh, look!’ with awe in her voice.  What she saw was the sun shining on the old cement steps to her house.  “Oh, look!”   I feel such appreciation, such gratitude.  I know that in my life are blessings. “Oh, look!” My life itself is a blessing. I must remember that always.  We live the masterpieces of our lives, in process. Always in process.  In each moment.  No matter what… right now…recognize the blessing.  Appreciate the masterpiece. Find what can make me smile.  Find what can make me smile.  Find what can make me smile.  And then once more, find the encouragement to live the best life I can.

So to you, my friend, visiting with me here, I say hello again with love that I hope builds a bridge from my heart to yours.  May you pause to remind yourself of the blessings that are your personal masterpiece of a life.  And smile. Amen.

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